10 Overrated Films

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These are ten of the most overrated films around, according to me, and in no particular order.

1.  The English Patient- Boring epic that goes on and on numbing its audience into submission or a restful slumber.  I can’t believe it won best picture.

2.  Junebug- More overrated indie claptrap featuring endless quirky characters including a 10 minute monologue from a bigot who draws penis paintings that no sane art gallery would ever sell.  Amy Adams is terrific though, she kept me from losing the last shreds of my sanity.

3.  Little Miss Sunshine- cringe-inducing and unfunny with a good performance by Steve Carrel in an otherwise painful film for me that I couldn’t wait to end. 

4.  Titanic- lame acting and some unintentionally hilarious scenes (baddie Billy Zane steals the show abusing the lovely Kate Winslet, mocking the death of poor people, and firing his gun randomly AS THE SHIP IS GOING DOWN), this film had some nice effects towards the end, but that’s also the problem, the damn thing just wouldn’t end.

5.  American Beauty- Another overrated film, and another best picture winner.  American Beauty is cartoonish, crass, and has all the dramatic zip of of a wet napkin.  Only Chris Cooper rose above the cliches to find some depth in the screenwriting machine that cranked this out film out.

6.  Eyes Wide Shut- This disaster is a pretentious bore from the late Stanley Kubrick.  You have a miscast and grinning Crazy Cruise flashing his doctor badge every 10 minutes on the empty “streets” of London and an orgy out of a bad Zalman King flick.  It’s about as insightful as an episode of MTV’s A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila.

7.  Fight Club- Fight Dud is an empty, dull, and ugly ride to nowhere.  It’s another film that believes it is “profound” while really being utterly vacuous.  The ending is one of the least convincing twists in film history.  This is a film worshipped by male teenagers everywhere, it’s right up there with The Boondock Saints for them.

8.  The Blair Witch Project- This is the most overhyped horror film of all time.  An utterly pointless, amateurish, and lame excuse for a film.  I wasn’t scared for a minute and the only fun I had at the theatre was watching a few girls in the front row run to the bathroom to vomit from motion sickness.  Peter Travers called the film “scary as Hell”, which proved to be the dumbest quote of all time.

9.  Unforgiven-  It may be unfair for me to put this on the list since I hate westerns, but this was just a boring, overrated film overall.  It is one of the lamest best picture winners in Academy history.  It has some good acting and a nice tone, but it’s also uninvolving and borders on self-indulgence a few times.

10.  Charlie and The Chocolate Factory- Timmy Burton’s meltdown is complete with this disastrous, unfunny, punishingly awful version of the classic Roald Dahl book.  The second that a prancing pedophile in the form of Johnny Depp comes onscreen as a creepy Michael  Jackson-esque Willy Wonka the film is already sunk.  Go rent the original version with Gene Wilder instead of this huge-budgeted and garish turd.

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