DVD Review: Redline

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Redline is the ultimate vanity project.  A 26 million dollar street racing flick financed by a rich punk producer using exotic sports cars from his private collection.  Redline makes Fast and the Furious look like Hamlet.  It’s got awful acting, terrible direction and an even worse “script”.  Don’t be fooled by the shiny DVD cover that promises shiny cars and even shinier women, the cars are the coolest thing about the film.  Redline even commits the ultimate cardinal sin for a street racing film, the races are tedious and poorly shot.  I’ve seen more exciting street racing at the corner of Second and Chunk in South Philly at 2 am than I witnessed in Redline.

The film got a bit of press when non-actor Eddie Griffin (who is about as funny as Dane Cook) crashed the producer’s awesome Enzo Ferrari, worth around 1.2 million dollars.  That was probably more exciting than the film itself, which is filled with shallow characters and a deep-seeded hatred of women.  It’s one thing to expect women to be used as sex objects but the star named Natasha (played by a blank Maxim hottie who isnt even that hot named Nadia Bjorlin) is won in a bet and kidnapped by an eccentric ascot-wearing freak named Michael (played in a career worst performance by Angus MacFaddyen), kidnapped and taken to his mansion, you really wonder if the writers and producers of this trash do have unresolved Mommy issues.

Nadia Bjorlin is kind of a second-rate Megan Fox with about half the acting talent.  The story has something to do with revenge (it takes about an hour to kick in) and the death of a major character in a firey wreck is the most unintentionally funny scene in years. There’s also a slimy movie producer (is there any other kind) and an Iraq war veteran prone to violent outbursts and martial arts (nice statement there) that round out the cast.

Redline is boring and offensive, and worst of all, the races aren’t even exciting.  This is the film that is sure to put a nail in the coffin of street racing flicks for good.  If you like this kind of car porn thing, just watch your Fast & the Furious DVD instead, or play a racing videogame such as Need for Speed.  For all its gleaming cars and shiny, enhanced women, Redline wasn’t even exciting enough to raise my pulse, let alone any other part of my anatomy.

Film Grade:  D-

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