In this film, Rodriguez teams up with his buddy Quentin Tarantino. You know what that means. A lot of artistic violence and very well textured script writing. This film is proof that low-budget does not equal to shitty movies. Uwe Boll, you need to watch some Rodriguez flicks. The movie follows two brothers running from the law, only to end up in a hellish bar, full of naked chicks, called the Titty Twister. Man, I love that name.

This film captivated me mostly because of its dialogue. Clooney and Tarantino are great at playing 2 crazy brothers. Clooney, being the older of the two ran the show. While, Tarantino plays a psychotic delusional pervert, that is both creepy and likable at the same time. The acting is a bit over-the-top but it fits the script, so it works well. Expect to see the usual suspects in the cast which includes Danny Trejo, Selma Hayek, and Cheech Marin.

Can you still turn this movie down?

The movie was great all the way through until they started fighting vampires. Then, it became okay. Don’t get me wrong, the action scenes were entertaining as hell, but it almost became a different movie. It wasn’t as realistic as it was before, and the characters lost their sense of reality. The brothers were scarier before they started fighting the vampires. Plus, I enjoyed the idea of not rooting for the main characters.

Overall, the movie is well worth watching. It doesn’t feel too long which is always a plus, I hate movies that are too long. The cast is great, and Rodriguez does a wonderful job of putting this film together. So, if you haven’t seen this flick, go check it out.

Grade: B+

“It’s the best, most complete game I’ve ever worked on.” - Peter Molyneux, Fable Mastermind

God I love Peter Molyneux. A month and a half before the game was released, Peter had a chance to play and review his own game. He said, “I’d rate it a 9 out of 10.” But we all know that Peter likes to hype his games up. Now that I have finished playing Fable II, I’d have to disagree with him.

The world of Albion has changed since you last visit it, well actually, not so much. Five hundred years have passed since the first Fable. You start off as a young boy/girl with an older sister who takes care of you. With you and your sis out and about, mysterious cloaked lady comes to you, telling you that magic exist. You hesitate to believe her, but since you’re curious, you listen to what she has to say. She tells you that your answers will be revealed in a special musical box. That’s when everything changes. The musical box that you retrieved disappears, and a bunch of soldiers come to your home. Your sister believes that they’ll be taken to the castle to live happily there, but you meet Lucien, the antagonist of the game, and he kills your sister because he believes you guys are the fourth heroes that came to thwart his evil plans. You’re saved by the mysterious lady when Lucien shoots you, making you fall out the window in the highest part of the castle.

You’re now older and on a mission to find and kill Lucien. You must find three heroes to help you forge the ultimate weapon. Let’s just say the ending is very anticlimactic. Part of what makes a good RPG is the story, and with a story that’s bare bones, it’s already a huge minus for the game. Complete game my ass, Peter!

Gameplay

The gameplay is similar to the first, but somehow I feel as if my character reaction is slower this time around. For example, when you’re running, it’s hard for him or her to make a quick turn. Combat is simple where X does all your different melee attacks, Y does all your long-range attacks, and B does all your magic spells. When I’m fighting, I opted for the powerful flourishes where you hold X, then let it go. I was able to beat the game using mostly flourishes. The game does not encourage you to try other moves because the flourish melee is very strong and practical, while using magic spells was useless to me since it takes a while for your character to power up for the stronger spells, and when you do use it, it’s still not as powerful as the flourishes. Since no enemy was able to block my attacks most of the time, countering isn’t necessary, and I’m a guy who loves counter moves.

For a game that has a lot of fighting, I wish the camera controls were faster. There’s no way to change the sensitivity, only an option to invert the camera angle.

The people of Albion reacts to your expressions, just like the first, but feels like it’s been tacked on just for fun. Expressions are just ways for you to communicate with people, like farting, dancing, flirting, kissing and more. Let’s just say the people of Albion are easily amused and have serious ADD.

The menu system is slow and every time you use an item, it goes back to the main menu. It doesn’t break the game but it is a little annoying because if you want to use many items or equip them, you have to go back to the list every time use one.

Graphics

The graphics for the game is very nice, but could be a lot better when compared to the first Fable. The style is still very cartoony for a more serious tone. The colors are less vibrant this time around and overall have an earthy tone.

Sound

The sound makes good use of surround sound. When you’re in the woods or open fields, you’ll hear nature all around you. When you’re in a town, you’ll hear people all around you, making the town a busy place. But it does get old because the people of Albion say the same things over and that can get annoying when you’re just walking around town exploring. I do like the addition of the gargoyle hunts, because the best way to find this is audio cues. You’ll hear a little squeaky man’s voice taunting you that you can’t find him, and when you find where the voice is coming from, it’s a statue. Pretty creepy if you ask me. And for the music, it has a nice somber feel but doesn’t have any memorable tunes like it did in the first Fable.

Conclusion

I did expect a lot out of this game because it’s a sequel to a game that I really enjoyed for its interactive living world and choices for good and evil. Now years later, after playing the first and other games with moral choices like Knights of the Old Republic and Mass Effect, this game feels very ordinary. It just doesn’t have a lot of new features for it to feel like an entirely new experience, but for those of you who haven’t played the first, you’ll probably enjoy it more. It’s a game that can be enjoyable but don’t go in hoping for something really groundbreaking. The main story is short, and after finishing some quests, the replayability is low.

Grade: C

After languishing on the shelf since 2005, the straight-to-DVD Confessions Of A Pit Fighter is easily one of the worst films of the year. Simply, the film is just awful. A cast of real-life fighters (including former MMA champ Quinton Rampage  Jackson) and a few professional actors (who should have known better) make up the cast of this dreadful film. The perpetually sneering Armand Assante sneers and walks through his clichéd villain role half asleep (and sneering). John Savage is the other decent actor in the cast who plays a nasty parole officer. The rest of the cast includes the hideous and some other non-actors. The film looks cheap and the DVD doesn’t even feature chapter stops.

“Confessions Of A Pit Fighter” is the cliché-ridden tale of an ex-con who wants to live a normal life. His brother is killed in an illegal underground street fight in East Los Angeles. He then goes back into the criminal underworld on a journey of revenge. The fact that the film is cheaply made is a given but would some exciting fights be too much to ask for? This film has no exciting action scenes, terrible acting, and almost zero story.  There’s also a numbing tough guy voiceover narration that makes things even worse.  The DVD has no extra features and a shabby widescreen transfer. At 99 minutes, the film feels like an eternity and is a chore to sit through.

The movie is a dreadful bore with not one exciting action scene of which to speak. The acting is strictly amateur-hour and the film isn’t even worth a rental. Fans of mixed martial arts are better off with David Mamet’s “Redbelt” (and even the hokey “Never Back Down” was better than this dreck) or just watching the real thing. This film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Paying an actual pit fighter to give you a roundhouse kick to the head would be a much less painful way of wasting your money.

DVD Grade: D-

I hate going to Hollywood because of traffic, plain and simple.  I probably go to Hollywood once or twice a year.  But three weeks ago, I was invited to a party at House of Blues by a close friend.   I’ve never been to the place so I was excited and reluctant at the same time.  Got to the place about thirty minutes early and talked to the door person.  He asked me if I was with a party and I told him the person that invited me.  To my surprise, he gave me a concert ticket and a wristband.  The group performing was The Foreigner.  I’m not into music so I didn’t know who they were.  But at the end of the night, I learned I loved some of their songs but just didn’t know who performed it.

Once the party arrived, we started ordering food.  One guy in the party, told us he saw Lindsay Lohan on the second floor with her girlfriend.  Oh shit, Fire Crotch is in the same venue as I am!  She was so hot in Mean Girls, gotta talk to her.  We were on the third floor, so my friend and I head down to the second floor with a camera.  We see Lindsay sitting on the edge of the balcony.  She was with her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson.  Lindsay looked really skinny and probably weighed about 90 lbs.  No fat at all.  We were about to approach them but the security guard kicked us out because we didn’t have the VIP wristbands.  We go back up and finish our desserts.

Concert was about to start so all of us head down to the second floor.  Our party is by the left corner of the stage, while Lindsay was in the middle of the stage.  Foreigner starts performing and one of the first songs they played was “JukeBox Hero.”  I noticed my friend was missing and so was Lindsay.  He comes back and tells me he tried to take a picture with her but she said “I can’t, sorry.”

About 30 minutes later, Lindsay and her girl leave.  We stalk her ass outside.  My friend didn’t want to do shit anymore because he already got turned down.  I told him I’d ask this time.  We see them walking down the outside stairs by themselves.  I call out “Lindsay, Lindsay.”  Samantha turns around and wanted to talk.  Lindsay kept on walking and all I heard was a bitchy ass “NO!” from her.  She didn’t even turn her back to face me.  I was shocked because I thought she’d be nicer.  Damn, I really thought she’d at least stop and talk because we were the only ones in the vicinity.  I went back to the concert sad.  My friend still stayed outside and he told me later that he approached them and said he was a big fan of hers.  He said Lindsay said “Thanks” but not much else.

In Lindsay’s defense she’s probably sick and tired of fans always asking her for pictures and the paparazzis chasing her down .  She just wanted privacy.  But then again, she’s the first celebrity I’ve met that ignored her fans.  The last song Foreigners played was “I Wanna Know What Love Is” and  I definitely didn’t feel any from the fire crotch.   

The supposed PS3 system seller that was well received by the critics.  It’s gotten a 95 at metacritic.  When it was revealed last year at E3, all eyes were on this little game.  You play as a sack boy in a 3d side scrolling game that lets you play online with other players.  Certain levels of the game can’t be accomplished without teamwork from your friends. Click on the link for the full review.