Matty-Script: Jun- Battleground Teela and The Faceless One!

A good month for once! The subscription service from has had too many downs and who-cares and not enough WOW! Just what I wanted!

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Battleground Teela also known as fur-bikini Teela or simply original DC comics Teela. That’s right Teela has a couple of plates of armor covering her breasts that apparently is removable, so all you porn monkeys out there can enjoy stripping her down and making those lame figure scenes with photo-shopped word bubbles where your He-Man figure is feeling her up or something of the like–or Evil-Lyn, maybe Adora, She-Ra anyone…it’s not about figures anymore is it….

Battleground Teela is created after her original appearance in the DC comic book from the 80’s. As stated before, she is wearing a bronze (or in Teela’s case, gold) upper armor and a fur loin cloth. She has a moving waist which looks horrible because of overlap of the upper body and the lower body, it’s better to keep her body in line because it’ll look stupid. Talk about a poor design…
Included with this great figure are a cheap generally designed sword that comes with the Queen Marlena figure at the SDCC and a space laser pistol that will probably come with another figure sooner than later.
The sculpt of the figure is very nice and if it didn’t sell out in 5 minutes on the sale date I would have picked up another one.

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The back of the package features a bio of interest (more or less) and the other figures available.

All in all the figure is nice and so is the packaging, with all of the different versions and stories with Teela, this is a good inclusion, it would have made a decent Club Eternia Subscribers only figure, but good enough.


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The Faceless One is from the 200X series, he was Evil-Lyn’s “Daddy.” I’m not even going to comment, I want to talk about the figure. The box weighs a ton!!!! Almost as heavy as the Shadow Beast! Ok…well, not that heavy… Most of the weight is the one-piece armor that slips on over his head, the detail is nice and the head is fine even if everyone and their Uncle wants to complain about it–a bit creepy… He comes equipped with a Havoc Staff that Skeletor stole from him, this staff glows red at the horns and is pretty cool, he also includes his Ram Stone which is well-detailed and fits in his hand which is the same hand that Count Marzo has so the Ram Stone and Amulet are interchangeable.

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The back of the package has a decent bio and the usual “also available.”

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The Faceless One with his Jaundice daughter Evil-Lyn!

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The Faceless One with proper colors Evil-Lyn.

The Faceless One is a good new figure, although a very minor character.


I know I seem to be mad or not happy in some way with these figures, but I’m not, both look great in the packages where they will stay. I have Teela with regular Teela side by side in the China cabinet so that automatically means that she is one of the most important figures in my collection. Faceless is shelved with Evil-Lyn. It’s just…there are some cheap aspects that I feel have been caused throughout this year currently where Mattel has half-assed the quality of the figures in order to make more profit in sales. I know most will agree with that, even other collectors of these figures. We drop $20 each and more for other figures and the companies seem to think that we should be happy if they come to us in one piece, after-all, it’s more important for the big corporation to make a huge bottom line for the 2 people at the top than it is to sell a great product. “They” will then say that it’ll cost the consumer more if the quality is better but that’s far from true, the Chinese sweat-shops that make the figures employ workers that are paid pennies on the dollar, so the cost of the figures is mostly all profit so the quality should reflect what the consumer is paying. The figures from 2010 were of better quality, those who open them to display know that, there are the usual problems like frozen feet but most forums said they were able to loosen them or figure out how to make it all work. We all can’t return for exchange every time there is a dud, it just takes forever for shipping and then what do we get when we get the replacement? Smashed boxes that didn’t happen in shipping, poor packaging where accessories are all over the bottom of the bubble, poor paint applications, seams not smoothed… A $20 figure is supposed to be perfect, the $5 MOTU figures of the 80’s were great and had much better manufacturing quality even with limited articulation and a rubber band holding the legs on…are you telling me that with modern technology, full articulation and detailed sculpting that there is no room for a quality control department or person? Whatever, right… All WE can do is hope the quality of the rest of this years figures is good.

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