With an all new Vintage Toy of the Month upon us, let’s check in and see what the fabulous Miss M is thinking of looking at this month. What kinds of interesting toys will she want to talk about this time? Will it be your favorite? Read on and find out!
In the calm of a regular September night, Miss M finds herself restless unable to sleep.
Miss M: Crap. Double crap. Why can’t I sleep tonight? All I want is a good night sleep. That’s all.
Rolling over, Miss M notices that she is not the only one wide awake.
Miss M: You can’t sleep either 8-Bit?
8-Bit: I never sleep Miss M. I am programmed to watch over you. Would you like a sedative?
Miss M: No. I know what my problem is. I just have so much on my mind. I’m trying to figure out the perfect Vintage Toy to talk about for the month of September on NERDSociety. And… I may have over done it this week. They just opened a dine-in Pizza Hut with buffet, and all I have done is binge on yummy Pizza Hut pizza. Now I feel nothing but tomato sauce trying to creep up my throat.
8-Bit: My programming has concurred something… that is… disgusting.
Miss M: Sorry. I just have a great deal on my mind, and all I want to do is sleep. I just want to sleep. Why, oh why, did I have to eat so much pizza?
8-Bit: In order to help ease your stress, we could discuss toys from the Archival Room that would warrant an article for the Vintage Toy of the Month?
Miss M: No. I think I’m just going to try and sleep, no matter how crappy I feel.
8-Bit: If you insist on sleeping right now Miss M, remember… when you dream on acid reflux, you dream in color…
Miss M: (rolls over to finally get some sleep) Yeah 8-Bit. Sure. Whatever you say…
With night falling all around her, Miss M tosses and turns as she fights the struggles of eating too much while trying to succumb to her slumber. In a sleepless daze she feels as if she is flying. She likes that feeling; it usually means that her night is going to be all right. Suddenly she is jolted awake as she feels her bed crash. Trying to make sense of her surroundings, Miss M looks out at a strange and beautiful forest.
Miss M: What in the world? Am I dreaming? What is this place?
Turning to see if her robotic teddy bear is with her, Miss M looks sad as she realizes that 8-Bit is nowhere to be found. Stepping out of her bed, Miss M walks around the dazzling forest.
Miss M: This is amazing. I feel like I’ve been here before.
A voice calls out in the distance. Turning around, Miss M is blown away by the beauty of a very interesting creature.
Miss M: Did you say something?
Deerlene: I did. I said that you have been here before. I am Deerlene, and this is the Shimmering Forest.
Miss M: Oh my goodness. The legend is true. This forest, it is home to the Shimmers!
Deerlene: That is correct.
Miss M: Wow! I can’t believe this. I am in shock. I never thought I’d be talking to a live Shimmer right now. I remember you all from my childhood. There were many of you.
Deerlene: Yes, Kenner made a few of us back in the magical year of 1986.
Miss M: Didn’t you come with a baby?
Deerlene: Yes. Partly human and partly deer, I had the joys of being packed with my daughter, Baby Doette.
Baby Doette: Hi! How come you look fully human?
Miss M: (in shock) I really need to stop eating so much pizza.
Deerlene: Never! Had it not been for a restless night, you would not even be here right now. And we need you Miss M.
Miss M jumps backward as another Shimmer approaches.
Miss M: A mermaid! What are you doing in a forest?
Seaquin: This forest is my home. I usually live in the nearby lake, but we no longer travel far from the safety of the woods.
Miss M: Really? But I remember you all being so happy and carefree.
Seaquin: Yes, the Shimmers were once a very carefree group of creatures. But things have changed. Kenner cut the line so short that we simply faded away in the minds of so many. Now we are left wide open for our enemies to strike.
Miss M: That is terrible.
Seaquin: Of course it is terrible! My Baby Splashy and I are being hunted for our shimmery scales to say nothing of my raw vocal talent being squandered away by my loser talent agent. I was destined to be a star! Seaquin and the Shimmers! This was to be our finest moment. Now there is nothing but this forest of forgotten toys.
Miss M: I’m really sorry to hear that. If it makes any difference, you always were my favorite Shimmer.
Seaquin: That does nothing for me at all really.
Shaking her head in continued shock, Miss M notices someone whispering below.
Miss M: What are you doing down there?
Sunstreak: Pay no mind to Seaquin. She’s old and bitter. I’m just glad you are here. It has been so long Miss M! Look at how much you’ve grown! And you wear such fancy clothes.
Miss M: (looks down at her nightgown) Oh this? It’s just a nightgown. I’m hardly fancy. Though I guess I am a bit older. I’m also talking to a group of Shimmers in a strange forest. I’m not really sure what to think of my life at this particular point.
Sunstreak: Don’t worry about your life. You are going to be fine. I’m not so sure that I will. Just look at my poor Baby Winglet.
Miss M: You named your baby Winglet?
Sunstreak: Of course. That’s what her older brothers and sisters were called when they were taken in by this kind group of people working for a company called McDonald’s. I hope that the other Winglets have found their true calling.
Miss M: Umm, I hate to be the bearer of bad news…
Seaquin: (quickly interrupts) Don’t say it Miss M!
Miss M: (whispers to the mermaid) She has to know!
Seaquin: Ignorance must sometimes be bliss.
Contemplating the oddness around her, and growing ever more concerned with how she will return home, Miss M turns to find another Shimmer approaching the group.
Pepper: Why hello, I’m Pepper. The oldest living centaur in the forest! Have you seen my Baby Pearl Miss M?
Miss M: No, I’m sorry. I sort of just arrived. I’m new to this whole place.
Pepper: Come now! You can’t be that new. We all certainly recall the fun you had with the Shimmers. We were all so magical and dazzling. Now if I could just find my Baby Pearl.
Deerlene: Pepper, you know better than to be going on about this.
Pepper: I know not of what you speak.
Deerlene: Don’t you remember? A Shimmer Dingo ate your baby.
Pepper: What? No. Stop these lies! I must leave at once! A Shimmer dingo’s got my baby!
Deerlene: (whispers to Miss M) She’s short a few spices in the cupboard, if you know what I mean.
Pepper rushes off as Miss M looks around at everyone else.
Miss M: Ok, I can’t take much more of this. What is going on? Am I in a messed up dream? Why am I here? How come there aren’t any male Shimmers? Do I need to worry that a Shimmer Dingo is going to try and eat me too?
Sunstreak: Of course not Miss M. Should we tell her?
Seaquin: Well I’m certainly not. We haven’t got much time to explain, and I’m a talker.
Deerlene: Fine. I’ll be the one to talk. Miss M, we wished upon a shimmery star that you would visit with us again. Our forest is in danger, grave danger. You are rather perceptive. There are no more male Shimmers. They have either died or are out in battle against the evil Lord Motaro.
Miss M: Like, Motaro from Mortal Kombat?
Deerlene: I have never heard of this Mortal Kombat. Lord Motaro is from outside the forest. He was once a gleaming kind Shimmer, but now he is working with the evil Shimmer Dingoes to bring about our demise. He won’t rest until the universe has completely forgotten about the beloved Shimmers line. We need you to fight with us, to make sure that the legend of the Shimmers lives on! Can you do that?
Miss M: I don’t know. I’m in a night gown and I suffer from acid reflux. What can I possibly do?
Deerlene: You can do anything you set your mind to! We need a brave warrior woman in hot pink boots to stomp out Motaro and the Dingoes! Please. If not for us, then do it for poor Baby Pearl.
Deerlene stops the excitement and points up to the sky. Doom spreads across their faces as they see Lord Motaro and the evil Dingoes approaching.
Seaquin: Oh this is not going to end well.
Deerlene: Have hope. We will win this!
Sunstreak: Yeah! Motaro has nothing on the Shimmers! Right Miss M?
Miss M: (feels slightly sick) Right. I… don’t feel so well. My throat, it feels like it is on fire…
Deerlene: Focus Miss M! Focus! We need you!
Miss M turns towards a tree and begins coughing up acid.
Seaquin: Oh disgusting. Our children play at that tree.
Deerlene: Maybe enlisting Miss M to help wasn’t the best idea.
Miss M: No! Don’t say that, I can totally do this! Let’s stop Motaro!
As Miss M turns ready to give it her all, she suddenly finds herself back in her room. Sitting up in her bed, Miss M reaches out for 8-Bit.
Miss M: My goodness, it was all a dream.
8-Bit: What kind of dream was it?
Miss M: I don’t even know. I was visiting some old friends, the Shimmers. I had forgotten how wonderful that line was. I wish Kenner had continued with the plans for the second series, they were all just so magical looking.
8-Bit: Such is the way of life Miss M. Nothing can truly last. Toy lines end.
Miss M: Yeah. Acid reflux ends too. I’m suddenly feeling better.
8-Bit: That is good. Are you going back to bed?
Miss M: Yeah, I guess so. I just can’t stop thinking about them though, the Shimmers. It all felt so real. I wish it was.
Miss M looks away in the distance, wondering about so many things. She smiles knowing that once upon a time a great toy company called Kenner had made a lovely little line where the dolls were half creature/half human and they were simply stunning. Finally ready to sleep, Miss M closes her eyes. The night takes her in.
Seaquin: So what’s the plan now?
Deerlene: With our only chance at survival officially gone, we will just have to fight without Miss M. We can do this though! Pepper is with us!
Pepper: Yes I am!
Sunstreak: Yeah! The Shimmers are together, and not even grody old Motaro will stop us now!
Will the Shimmers stop Lord Motaro and the Dingoes from ravaging the Shimmering Forest? Can Miss M learn from her lessons and not overdose on buffet pizza? There is only one way to find out… with your imagination! Let the story soar! That’s it for this month’s Vintage Toy of the Month! Be back on October 15th, when NERDSociety debuts an all new Vintage Toy of the Month!
Got a vintage toy request? I might just have it for a spectacular review. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and simply ask. Be sure to like NERDSociety on Facebook and follow NS on twitter @nerdsociety. If you want to learn more about the various adventures of Miss M, be sure to also check out Diary of a Dorkette. Take care everyone!